Oh THAT'S why I hate being pregnant.

My mom always said that after you have a baby, you forget all about the awful parts of being pregnant. She says Heavenly Father blocks out your memories so that you're willing to go through it all again and have more kids. She is so right. All the reasons I hate being pregnant have come screaming back to me the past few days. When I was pregnant with Sage, I had great insurance. Great insurance means I got the great drugs. So during the week, when I had to go to work, I would barf in the morning before work, dope myself up on Zofran just long enough to make it through the work day, then barf before bed. Eight hours of moderate, controllable nausea. Only the weekends were bad, because I would save my drugs for the work week. (Poor Clint.) That pattern went on for about 5 1/2 months. Not great, but livable.

Well now, we have no insurance. No insurance=no drugs, which = nothing but vomit. No one should ever have to be as up-close and personal with the commode as I now am. It's a good thing I just cleaned them. When my throw up count reached 21 yesterday, we finally gave in and went to the ER to get an I.V and some fluids in me. I was totally dehydrated and felt like someone had taken a hammer to my head. (headache was caused from dehydration.) Every time I threw up, my head seriously felt like it was splitting open. Today, it feels like someone used my torso/ribs/back as a punching bag. My poor little Sage was scared of me all day yesterday. Every time she heard me throwing up--(and trust me when I say our neighbors can probably hear me...it comes all the way up from my toes.) she started to cry. Thank heavens I have the best husband in the world. Not only did he take care of Sage all day yesterday, but he held my hair back for me, picked me up off the floor of the kitchen when I wasn't coherent enough to get up on my own, gave me a priesthood blessing, convinced me to go to the hospital and get help, and reassured me over and over again that we will one day be able to pay off all this new accumulated debt--that he doesn't care about the money so long as I can function. Looks like it's time for me to set up camp here at home for the next several months. Fabulous.

I'm torn now, too. My marathon is in three weeks! I haven't been able to train in a week or so, and running tends to make the nausea worse. Obviously. But, I've paid for it, and more importantly trained for it so hard and diligently for the past 3 months that I am so still wanting to do it, even if I have to walk across the finish line. I've decided I'll do what I can to train, and just see how I feel the day of. At lease I have Sage here to remind me that it is all worth it in the end. Just five short months is not the worst price to pay if I get to have another sweet little baby.