is a scary place to be.
I haven't been sleeping lately. This is nothing new, but the past week or two have been awful. Last night was no exception. The crazy thing is, I'm exhausted and in dire need of sleep, but my crazy mind is going about a thousand miles a minute. Nothing important, just random things. Last night, after my pep talk to myself about going to sleep, my thoughts went a little something like this.
i wonder if the girls are warm enough? i should go check again. i hope charlotte's diaper doesn't leak again and make her cold. prayer. please o please let me sleep tonight. i wonder when sage will poop on the pot again? why is she such a daddy's girl all of the sudden? it's really starting to annoy me. i'm the one taking care of her all dang day long, so why is he her favorite? i wish audrie lived here. i'm hungry. i wonder if we'll ever be able to move into a bigger house. i wonder when i'll be able to quit my job. i wonder when we'll get pregnant again. i wish i had amber's complexion. i'm hungry. expletive. i'm really glad my parents are finally out here. i hope they get settled soon. should i throw a party for sage's third birthday or just keep it low key? i can't believe charlotte goes to nursery in a few weeks. i need another baby. i'm hungry. i need to find out what's wrong with my stupid wrist. i wonder how debbie is doing. i wonder how analee and kate are doing. maybe i should try reading some more. no, relax. it's sleep time. expletive. if i fall asleep now, i'll get five hours of sleep. maybe i should just skip church and take a nap. i really need to work harder on my new year's resolutions. especially the no swear words one. expletive. CLINT, ARE YOU ALREADY ASLEEP?!!!!! i hate you for being able to fall asleep so fast. you better not wake me up after i fall asleep for you know what or i'll give you a black eye. i'm hungry. church song lyrics. this diet is worthless. i'm starving myself and i've only lost a few pounds. i want to quit. i really need to clean my carpets. i want wood floors. i hope connies fingers are ok. that would hurt so bad. i wonder when our tax refund will come. i need to go through our food storage and see where we're at. i need to organize the girls' closet and get rid of stuff. i wish i wasn't covered in cellulite. i'm hungry. expletive. i like bj's new truck. i'm so proud of sage for how well she picked up potty training. i want to take the girls to sea world. i wonder if clint and i will serve a mission together one day. my wrist is hurting so bad. i can't wait to workout hard on monday. i wonder who's playing in the super bowl. i can't wait for katherine to have her baby. i wish i had more time to be crafty. i hope nick and zack make good choices. i hope kris is happy married. i hope dustin makes friends. i can't wait to put sage in swim lessons this summer. i'm so glad someone turned in my wallet at walmart. i'm so glad there are still honest people out there. i love my neighbors. i'm hungry. why am i always so cold lately? my feet are freezing. if i fall asleep now, i'll get two hours of sleep. expletive. maybe i should try watching a movie. i want to hike havasupi again. please o please let me fall asleep. prayer. i'm hungry.
and on and on and on. all night long.
There's no making this stuff up, people. I'm almost scared to try to sleep tonight!
I haven't been sleeping lately. This is nothing new, but the past week or two have been awful. Last night was no exception. The crazy thing is, I'm exhausted and in dire need of sleep, but my crazy mind is going about a thousand miles a minute. Nothing important, just random things. Last night, after my pep talk to myself about going to sleep, my thoughts went a little something like this.
i wonder if the girls are warm enough? i should go check again. i hope charlotte's diaper doesn't leak again and make her cold. prayer. please o please let me sleep tonight. i wonder when sage will poop on the pot again? why is she such a daddy's girl all of the sudden? it's really starting to annoy me. i'm the one taking care of her all dang day long, so why is he her favorite? i wish audrie lived here. i'm hungry. i wonder if we'll ever be able to move into a bigger house. i wonder when i'll be able to quit my job. i wonder when we'll get pregnant again. i wish i had amber's complexion. i'm hungry. expletive. i'm really glad my parents are finally out here. i hope they get settled soon. should i throw a party for sage's third birthday or just keep it low key? i can't believe charlotte goes to nursery in a few weeks. i need another baby. i'm hungry. i need to find out what's wrong with my stupid wrist. i wonder how debbie is doing. i wonder how analee and kate are doing. maybe i should try reading some more. no, relax. it's sleep time. expletive. if i fall asleep now, i'll get five hours of sleep. maybe i should just skip church and take a nap. i really need to work harder on my new year's resolutions. especially the no swear words one. expletive. CLINT, ARE YOU ALREADY ASLEEP?!!!!! i hate you for being able to fall asleep so fast. you better not wake me up after i fall asleep for you know what or i'll give you a black eye. i'm hungry. church song lyrics. this diet is worthless. i'm starving myself and i've only lost a few pounds. i want to quit. i really need to clean my carpets. i want wood floors. i hope connies fingers are ok. that would hurt so bad. i wonder when our tax refund will come. i need to go through our food storage and see where we're at. i need to organize the girls' closet and get rid of stuff. i wish i wasn't covered in cellulite. i'm hungry. expletive. i like bj's new truck. i'm so proud of sage for how well she picked up potty training. i want to take the girls to sea world. i wonder if clint and i will serve a mission together one day. my wrist is hurting so bad. i can't wait to workout hard on monday. i wonder who's playing in the super bowl. i can't wait for katherine to have her baby. i wish i had more time to be crafty. i hope nick and zack make good choices. i hope kris is happy married. i hope dustin makes friends. i can't wait to put sage in swim lessons this summer. i'm so glad someone turned in my wallet at walmart. i'm so glad there are still honest people out there. i love my neighbors. i'm hungry. why am i always so cold lately? my feet are freezing. if i fall asleep now, i'll get two hours of sleep. expletive. maybe i should try watching a movie. i want to hike havasupi again. please o please let me fall asleep. prayer. i'm hungry.
and on and on and on. all night long.
There's no making this stuff up, people. I'm almost scared to try to sleep tonight!
7 comments:
Love your posts. Now, sweet dreams! :)
This was hilarious!! Especially the expletives!!! Love it!!! You should try a sleep aid. I recommend Simply Sleep. Michaelnused robust it a lot and I have used it several times.
And I get up at least twice a night to make sure my kids are warm. So weird And unnecessary, but I do.
I meant to say "Michael used to use it a lot". Nothing about robust. Sorry. Stupid auto correct.
Sorry! I HATE being up and watching the clock. Have you tried melatonin? You buy it over-the-counter at a health food store. It's the first thing a sleep doc will recommend. If your problem is FALLING asleep, it may take care of your problem. If your problem is STAYING asleep, it may not.
When I'm up at night, it's usually because I'm thinking of things I need to do, then worrying that I'll forget about them by morning. It has really helped to sleep with a pen and post-it pad on my nightstand. If I am up in the night, I can write down anything I need to remember, which helps me get back to sleep faster.
Good luck!
You seriously need an Ambien or something! After reading your thoughts...my wrist hurts too! You need a bigger house? I thought it was pretty large? I want to hear more about what your parents are doing. Do a theme party for Sage. Ok that's all.
Oh Marianne, not that I love your misery...but I LOVE THIS POST. Not only can I relate, but man oh man you are one witty girl in the midst of your middle of the night stream of consciousness. I have had the hardest time with this too ever since Izzy was born. I think I have written to you about that once after another post you wrote about sleep. I have started taking vitamin d to make me happier which makes me more relaxed, and I take magnesium at night. It is known as the calming mineral...google it. It is known as a natural way to treat anxiety and insomnia, which for me go hand and hand. I take it in a combo pill with calcium which helps with the poops issues both minerals can cause. Cuz no one needs sleep AND poop issues, right??? Magnesium has several forms, some of which are barely even absorbed at all, so make sure you grab the right one. Chelated is the best. I get my combo pill at Vitamin Shoppe. How long ago did you stop nursing Charlotte? I have found that the further I get from nursing, the better I am getting a sleeping. Don't know why. I am interested in the melatonin too. I have wanted to try that, but i get freaked out by the thought of any side effects or addictiveness. At least I know with the vitamins and minerals I can't really get addicted. Hope this gets better for you. I know how bad it sucks! Love ya
I'm the same way. I have gotten to staying up until I can barely keep my eyes open. Only then can I go to sleep without much drama in my head.
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